Sexual Safety and Society

Women are told that they shouldn’t sleep around because that’s slutty and dirty. But after a recent visit to the gynecologist, I can’t help but talk about my experiences. I’m 20 years old and my list of different partners is greater than my age and yet I have never been pregnant nor contracted an STD. Either I’m really lucky of I’m just smart. I will admit to not always using barrier methods but only with people I trust. I don’t understand why girls are taught to fear sex. It’s fun, it relaxes you, and it burns calories. I also know that some people disagree with me but the psych major in me asks is that nature or nurture.
The abstinence sex education in high school certainly didn’t keep me from sleeping around but I always used protection. I have been on the pill since my sophomore year of high school and I have never had any complications other than my insurance refusing to cover it anymore.
Today being a virgin is glorified, even on MTV; the only network where 16 and Pregnant is followed by Virgin Territory.
Our culture both shames and praises women who have sex so women are often confused. I, for example, never know whether I should divulge the truth about my number. I always do, well I think I do. As long as I’m telling the truth I must admit I have forgotten the exact number.
This fact might make many people cringe, but why? As I mentioned, I have never been pregnant and I regularly get tested for STDs I don’t have. What’s so wrong about a girl wanted to sleep with guys she likes? What is it about sex that makes people so judgmental? And maybe I am being a little judgmental myself by reiterating my gynecological health but I want to show people that you can have sex without consequence if you are careful.
I want parents to give their daughters birth control when they ask for it- or when they think their daughter needs it. Sometimes a parents’ judgment is better than their child’s. I want parents to be open and honest with kids about sex, provide condoms so they won’t be too embarrassed to buy them them-self.
I don’t want other girls to feel the way I felt about my body and promiscuity. I used to feel proud of my ability to get men in my bed, but somewhere along the line, the shame of society came through. I’m not sure if it was the opinionated nurse practitioner who interrogated me before giving me my exam. Or the misguided masseuse who molested me on his table. Or the media slut shaming victims of gang rape, reporting her fault in the incident.
I have now decided that, though not all sexual encounters were worth the trouble, I don’t care. I used to get picked on in high school and now guys want to see me naked. Maybe I do need someone else to justify my beauty every now and then, but so what? It feels good! And I’m not ashamed of my number or my body or my sex drive.


cool gender neutral dating terms



1. datemate
2. kissfriend
3. lovebud
4. smoochdude
5. romfriend (like romantic get it)
6. my person
7. favorite friend
8. the datemeister
9. commitmentbuddy
10. coolperson

Another one that you can use is partner. We use it and we like it because we are partners through life experiencing joy, love, sadness, pain and laughter together.